When Nothing is Right

I don't know if this guy is dead or alive,

I dont even know if he exists..

I once remembered someone who always

refused to give up

I remember a boy who resembled his dad

I remember someone who stared at people

Someone who always made sure that there

was a lack of dynamism in every moments

Today what he sees is the normal life of a

scare crow

Dont ask what happened, but acceptance is

what he is living for the time

I dont think he is ashamed, he hopes it lasted longer

Practicing the act was way easier because he was

sure of the things he did

Certain deeds woulda been wrong for the moment

But everybody lived it , why wouldn't he ?

Impressions , impressions , impressions..

That is not what he wanted to make..

But why did he have to do all those things

At this stage of life , when there are loads of

Desires to fullfill.. he sees kids everywhere

He finds people who laugh at dialogues that

refuse to have any sense

Where is the rage gone, this life doesnt suck

he is not alone, he got family, he got people,

he got everything he dreamt,

Back to Blog

I did not have a net connection till now , I just got one , I hope I begin blogging back . Today was not the kind of day I expected it . I saw what the seniors and the ones on top of them in my company were doing. It was something that I did not expect. But it made me realize something. The world is a tough place to live. It is all about letting yourself free . I am happy that they are making me realize the fact that there is lot of unfinished business in my life . So Kishore, here is for you . The actionhero is back in blog with his itchy hands waiting to dig into the world of worlds , fighting himself and the surrounding. Trying to fix the pasts of thee and others. I hope everything goes wrong.

Insomnia

To fight is to accept the fact that you mind has rage. But there are moments when you are asked to fight without interest or confidence.Upon taking such a fight your mind starts to flicker over the very notion that eludes it of the cult that should have been lived up to. The very reasons for lack of excitement in a lonely life are almost the same. You want to live but you forget counting the days. Predictability is spoiling my time and I want to get back immediately to my text books. Implementation is making me dizzy and haunting me with thoughts that lack sense.

Please let me sleep.

2 Weeks at INFA

Couldn't know that it would make it so tough to
dig deep inside but as the depth decreases ,
things get clearer and clearer.
The range of my visibility may be matched
but the amount of tracks that it creates is
vast and unmanageable.

Broken Times

Hugging his pillow,

with thoughts that refused to happen,

with a freaking feeling that his life making turns,

he closed his eyes paying attention to the firefly that stilled,

sometimes , he never had to live moments that made him feel that he lived it,

another ordinary day just passed away, "have i been of use to anyone who survived this day",

the fat boy with a mole on his right cheek and joint eyebrows and a beautiful nose thought consciously,

years ,days,months, weeks ,centuries, seconds, moments ,lives ,changes,all were happening secretly.

"I was like a Robot , brainwashed in the name of God"

Ajmal Kasabs comments for the day does not bring about any feelings inside me infact , I do not feel anything. The day just passed as if nature and surroundings were commanding me and telling- "You are nothing, its us who decide what the future is and what your life is gonna be?".No person turned to be the one that he wanted to be , but I !. I never wanted to be anything in life but today I am something. The point is , "Nothing is under my control when I am in dire wanting and everything is under my control when I need nothing" . The testing exam passed off while , the battle for SPM has begun . The decision I choose is - "Stay and complete the thaniyavarthana and make the concert worth an aattakkalaasham".Yeah babe, pappas gonna change some rules - "Naan aadi thakathuttu daan , bhajana paaduven".

Finally, my tributes to Jagjit Singh who passed away tonight at the age of 70. Maestro, May your soul rest in peace.

Raghu Chronicles: Chapter 9: -Spoilers of the Strangest Moments

The phone was ringing as Gomathy Ammal shouted - " Sadhaa , Phone edu" . It was an unusual voice - "Amma" , the old man moaned. "What wrong did I do that you ignore me for 30 years?". It is my 55th birthday and I haven't seen you for so long. Are you atleast aware of a son? "Vishwam !". The old lady moaned. "

"Naan enna amma seiven ?" "Am I responsible? You supported dad always and today I stand at a point where I feel my life spoiled" . "Even after wishing to see you , I had to deprive myself out of it"."Swaah.." , the old lady could not speak , she was 85 and there was no day when she never thought of her only son and today when the call came, she could not utter a word. Unable to bare the shame that she just witnessed as there was Sadhaa waiting beside the old lady. All these years of pain and agony, the justification was lacking somewhere .

Sadhaa took the receiver and said- "Wrong Number".

Udumalpet Day

For the first time ,I felt

being part of a well written climax .

The evening clouds made

them more memorable.

But I still wonder,

"Why doesn't anyone cry ?"

Raghu Chronicles- Chapter 8 :- The Restoration

Naanu was passing by Poonthi as usual and there was a moment of smile seeing Raghu. Yes, Pooman had decided to take up the family profession of accountancy under Permal. Mani accompanied his younger brother. There was a murmur about Mani and Vandana on the last seat , the one that the old men always occupied.

Their latest news was the death of Vandana and return of Vishwam. As the bus started to fly , Raghu's mind was filling with the city moments , his old office by Richardson & Co, the 90 A bus. "There was no point in my city life. I always wanted to be with my people and my place. Ram mess and room mate was the only thing that really made me feel good. I do not feel bad anymore .""Nammulle Hero , Kandeduppon Naan Nammule Hero"- Mrudulaya was running at a high pitch. The usual thoughts flew as Naanu shouted- "Gaandhaari Amman Kovil , Perumal Accountants and Associates".

With thoughts of eagerness and proudy , Raghu kept forth his right leg from the 32 seater and the bell started to ring at Gandhari Amman Kovil. He felt the glory of Amman shining before his thy eyes. Making strodes towards the office, he prayed- "This time, this place , atleast once please". With the letter from his father signed and a hope of success, Raghu sat at the Cubicle within which his future boss was attending a call . "The deliveries will be soon made, Rishi is making more mistakes and I will soon have him fired. " The pune took the letter and gave it to old Perumal who laughed seeing it and called Raghu inside.

"The son of Ananthasubrahmania Iyer at my office, seems we still have stories to speak . Sit down Raghurama, How is Subbu? Been so long since I met him. Giri, get tea for the young man. I have been thinking of calling Subbu for a job. By the way , how is Seeta and Mani. Tell Mani that I am not angry and he can join back anytime. You had one more brother , didn't you ? "- Perumal said.

"Venkateshwaran , the middle one " - replied Raghu. "Yes , little Venki. What does he do these days?" .

"Mani and Venki are running a chain of stationary shops and some food supplies to the city malls , products like appam , ellurunda , dosa podi etc. " - Raghu spoke . "Does your father still dream of becoming a nalan and priest? "

"When the two words come up , Amma starts to fight and we begin to laugh. None of us have an idea about how dad gets to such thoughts" . "Haha , subbu was always a man of passion. Why dont you start today itself Raghu? . " - Perumal requested.

Temptations that refuse to Persist

I could have been a good fellow

I could have been a bad fellow

I could have lived it until

Someone won everything

I stand before you, my fellows

With thoughts of ego and inability

Refuting my rage over everything,

Bearing the herns that were churned,

finally the same doubt is born again

Did I win or loose?

Raghu Chronicles - Chapter 7:-New Extremes

Standing on the edge of the cliff,Chand thought of money and war.The game that he played with words of ethics and respect happened to be lost among his fellows. The lack of a good lead was not the case.Competition started to rule and gamesmanship started to vanish. Moment when the camaraderie seemed dramatic. Reality seemed to have lost its inside and from within was coming out mere acts of mockery and sham.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he captured those scenes that played the most vital important parts of his 79 year old life. First kiss from Pavitra , sealing the tooth on her hand for the chocolate. Days of hardsmanship at the underage jail, death of mom, birth of Sethu and the one that changed all , Vandana. "God bless my little one "- the gunlord thought.

He saw the valley beneath his legs, he felt the breeze, he felt the long chirping of birds, the rapture that nature brought into his mind and the final moment of success , the end of them all. After an hour, the gunlord started to climb down the cliff. Suddenly , a long bearded sage appeared before his eyes. The eyes were bright and an age of around 50 or so .

Seeing those powerful posture and gests, there was a feel of fear inside Sreedhar. The eyes of the old man did not take much time open. "How are you Sreedhar bhai"- asked the old man. The face was quite familiar, but it had become 30 or so since I have seen these eyes. Thoughts started to traverse, "I have seen this face during my early days, Vishwambharan ,yes Sanyasi Vishwambharan , Meena's Husband ."

"Vishwam," asked Sreedhar Chand. "Aam " - the reply came . "Meena died two years after you left and Vandana is under my care . You can meet her anytime you want but , she does not know that you are her father by blood . It is upto you to decide. Anytime you can come to my house ." ."Aam"- The sound came out again out of the tapasi. "Vandana is not willing to marry anyone and I do not know what to tell, The change that she brought in my life was more than anything else to me. The death of Sethu and the sorrows that followed. She was the reliever every time. I hope she finds a partner too. Sethu still lives through her and she finds her love at my house. "

As hours passed by, the gunlord left and there was silence all around. The house on valley where the old man and his daughter lived was clearly visible from the mid portion and the sanyasi kept staring at it for 2 continuous weeks and finally made up his mind to find a reason which would perfectly enable him to see his daughter by her face. Walking by the cliff , the two years which his eyes witnessed his daughter came in front of the old man . There was silence all around and flying papers in front of his eyes and the old man walked to the house to see his daughter, his only one who lived.

Moments later - " Aaaaah " -came out a roaring voice. " It was my fault always. I could have saved my daughter. I could have had family . I could have saved Meena. It was always my fault. Half a kilometer , that was the distance and I could not even hear her voice. What wrong did I do? Obeying my dad or living upto my family. The decisions I took has seen the dooming of all the members . I should not think of all these at this moment. Maybe I have something else to fullfill. "

Walking beside the pukka road to Durga , revenge was the mantra that rang in Vishwam's mind .The next day newspaper read - "Sreedhar Chand and Daughter found dead at Valley House".

Raghu Chronicles - Chapter 6: The Aftermath

Raghu was going home to fulfill his long awaiting kiss to mom and the bus was unusally empty except for a long bearded man who happened to be sitting on the back row. Even though no heed was paid to this guy, the bell kept ringing inside Raghu. There was this missing symbol somewhere that made the face look more familiar.

Conductor Naanu started bluffing about the latest developments at Durgapuram , Vishika ditching her third husband, the fight between Lala and Nathuram , death of Sethu and many more. The roaming cows ,the shaky trees and the chilly breeze added to the trip. The road started getting narrower and narrower as Durga got closer and closer.

The Old man was seen standing at Poonthi stop waiting to see his son after two years. There was a feel of "back home" in Raghu , but there was also a feel of "home forever " ringing inside him. "Appa!"- Raghu shouted . So did his two brothers waiting beside Anathasubrahmania Iyer. Bags were taken out. Hands were shaken, hugs were exchanged. The long bearded man was now staring at Raghu and his brothers.

The entire bus stop felt that stare the swamiji threw over them. The long whitle blew from Naanu's mouth and the gear just changed .There was something ringing inside Ananthasubrahmania Iyer. "Yaaruppa! . I know that fellow. Somewhere, sometimes AAhm".The walk to Chillamadom from Poonthi was a lasting one. As Chillamadom arrived, "Raghuramaaa" shouted his mom and came forth with the lamp and holy ash. There was happiness all around as Subbu Iyer sat on the Bamboo chair and bursted out. "Vishwam!. Seethaaa,Vishwam!! ".

Changing Times

The day just went unexpected. I got my Professional Certificate in Java Programming delivered onto my moms hands after three months of awaitance. There was a funny moment when I saw a company called IBM back off like turds after taking up the aptitudes from the softies. It is getting almost to cent percent sure that I am going to INFA Corp. The days unusual fact was when one of my staffs was seen giving punishments to five of my class mates.

I do not have a single thought that justifies that she intended to do it. She was chilled the entire semester and just realized that she is another member of the society . There was a change of hair style which is still making me wonder what is going wrong with her. Sometimes , you act in a way and lead it in such a way that the mind never wanted to do it. It is just the other side of you that you never want to take out. Another unique thing about the day was the alter ego of Gaga that I found on the net . Maybe true but I do feel that the day was entirely unique for everyone who lived it and I wish there was no more of such days in this life tiem.Wait, someone just messaged- "Due to bad impression, future companies are not going to be invited".God, I hope I never lived this day.

The tear that dripped

It has been long since I was back into the movie era and the past week, it was like OMG . Untouchables, Eyes Wide Shut, Usual Suspects. The best one is what I happen to see today. A British picture that made me drop a bunch of tears.When I started watching the movie, the current went out and I had to watch it in complete silence and the words to descibe the feel is not currenlty in my finger tip. There was Clive Owen in it and the picture had been with me since 2009 and I never cared to watch it. Today I felt the zeal and viguor of the film make while he made it. Alfonso Cuarón , the name of the man who read the novel and got the feel of what the author meant. The long shots still persist in my mind. I dont have any words to describe what it was like. But I was able to understand the pain that the scene intended to bring inside the viewer and the silence helped me beautifully capture the emotion. The name of this movie was Children of Men . The 454 second sequence that made me cry is shown below. A child is born after 27 years and the world is cought up in an uprising at Britain .

http://youtu.be/YBzWTIexszQ

Time for Change

Hazare Sahab's fast is entering 7th day when I write this and Sachin Tendulkar is at 70 not out waiting for another historic moment in cricketing history. I stand up to both the great men India has seen. Sahab is standing for the betterment of a nation at an age which no person would dare. I feel the chaos and struggle of a struggle for the first time in my life.

The questions that I bear in my mind ,

they are nothing compared

to the life I am leading.

The life I lead is nothing

compared to what Anna is doing.

The era from 2000 to 2010 is going to be known the time of Indian rejuvenation. All we can do is to pray for the great man who is leading all these.

Before ending this blog , there are a few things that I need to write and put up.

Mom feels that I am obese and I have decided to reduce those extra fat by taking up more of sweet instead of oil.

A few days back , the last Saturday to be exact , I thought of killing a struggling piece of life and I saw a person making up a better decision. The moment I realized the universal fact that none had the right to kill anyone whether it be a long term fight or a short term tendency.

What is that bitch from Italy

doing at US, the country is

fighting for freedom and change

while she is out there with extra care

I need to continue my Raghu Chronicles, yeah Raghu is changing but he still has a few mysteries surrounding him.

My Bucket List

I have been longing to do the following things

1. Go to the himalayas and stand in one leg for 5 hours with no thoughts
2. Skydive at Germany with my friends like in Point Break
3. Watch Avatar alone at beach in 3D
4. Eat Vella Sadya at Aranmula
5. Fight till I bleed a bottle of blood
6. Complete my Gethodacharitha script
7. Send my parents for a 10 day package to Singapore

The Other Side of Greatness

Happiness happens only when shared and at moments when the mind refuses to modulate and is already succumbed to tonnes of processes, the occasional regular behavior disappears. The alternate being is activated and runs in such a manner that the bearer never visualized it to be.I had a similar experience yesternight.
It was about 8:30 and I came back with the grandparents and son of the waiters and there was sweat dripping all around. We went to 506 and then fluctuations started to flow all around. There was some trip prescribed to generate the pain and the bride was taken for the trips. That is when the rest of the crew followed and 506 suddenly drained. There was silence around and I saw the father of the bride sitting there tensed with thoughts which were building in his life for the first tiem. Thoughts which lacked decisions. Thoughts were built that lacked proper structures, all I witnessed was a drip of sweat in his cheek which he was not aware of. I remembered Kavita for a moment. I asked him - "Are you tensed?"Sometimes great people reply in the craziest manner which one would never expect, " I am a person who is 40 years elder than you, normally we do not bring children to such places". There was arrogance in his words.
"Hehe" , I thought. "It was your son-in-law who invited me to this place, I was to leave by 6:00 and he hesitated as there was no one around. I know that I have no role here but had to stay back for him. If you were a friend of mine, I would have given you a beautiful pat. Something that you would cherish forever. But you are not my friend and there is no one to pat you.Lets speak something else". The person on the other happened to be a senior scientist at Indian Space Research Organization. Suddenly , I was about to back engineer his college life, his inability moments . Moments when he lost control and had to adopt to actions where he saw an alternate of himself which he never wanted to generate out of him. There was lacked of self control . " Offending him more would mean bad at this moment", I thought.I asked him to accompany me to the labor room front where his wife was waiting with silence. I knew I had to leave. I wished her in advance and waived a bye. I felt a pat in my back. The old man had changed.

Shook me All Life Long

Today was supposed to be that important day my lifetiem. It has been 4 years and 3 days to be exact. The 22nd of july and 19th of july have turned out to be important days of my existence diary. There were 5 HR rounds and 2 aptitudes. How the heck did I clear them. All praises to Dr. Ramesh Sharda and his OSU project that helped me get through interview process easily. Days and years later, I have a big story to tell my grandchildren about how grandpa was placed in Data Integration company called Informatica. Future, I am waiting for you.

The Burning Ditch

I saw you entering my life four days back with a bang,

You were there before me and all I had to do was to embrace

the presence and get happy with it

No explanations that command about the importance of

knowing everything

I did not feel a rebel today, I did not feel a looser today,

I do not feel egoisitic today,I do not feel a winner today

What was felt was the mind of a person who had been

fighting his surroundings and just realized the loss of self.

Nothing feels great , nothing sounds boring

Maybe, a loner can never understand the values of a relationship

Today I understood the pain inside the heart of a son

The struggle he took for two years, the battle that he fought

The laughter he missed for those two years, happiness was food ,

food and food only. He did not study for science, he studied

for tastier food ,those were the early days when

I felt the necessity for a change,;this is not the place where

I used to live, this was the place where I used to cherish my

thoughts, this used to be a place of respect and love, this used

to be a place where I was happy , the place I used to live;

It had become a place of pleasure, the place where

every idiot is after the paper and the mean he finds are cheapest

Dont ever expect me to go and stay at some temple because, the

killer is not going to pray Gandhi , he just makes carcasses.

This was the place I used to love, where I used to fight people.

Where are my opponents, where are my weapons, where are my

people, where are my causes, have all of them been fullfilled.

The battle aint over yet coz I just lost my sword

The bottomline is , I dont love her anymore and the moment

she is going to come in front of me, I am going to throw that wave

of illumination which is going to dim her forever.

Goodbye sweetheart, You are no longer beautiful and so are

your artifacts . You just got old and want to get horny.

BUT WHY DO I STILL SOUND A LOSER

Money made computers, wars made computers, internet

made computers, ipad makes computers , man makes computers

computer without wealth is like a dummy piece of rotten

meat which no dog cares to eat , sometimes it just rotters .

Inventions were prominent during the decades of the ones

that happened to be money free, let me join a gang and be

what i wanted to be, that guy out there is going to join me

and make me the radge of the county , they change my name

and cheat thousands , the terminology that they give me is

the designation of an atteneder, if 21 years of life that i

lived was to answer calls or type programs, who is this world

going to end up with, who am I going to blame, the same

old me who has grown up this much with the very thought

that success comes out of peace and not war , the one who

dared to compete himself ,the one who execises his mind

daily with thoughts of impossible and meanliness , god if this

is the framework that you expected to create around me

and expect my myself to fight his war out, then i am in for

the cause , take it as the word, but before that let me

just watch my movie once, coz I just forgot all those villians

and heroes who actually wanted to become characters of

the great adventure that once my pen thought of ,but was left

bereft due to the very reason that it wanted to cure

the disease within a single stroke , the stroke which it thought

would solve all those mysteries and miseries around me .

Coming back to the pen , when was the last time that i drew a

picture, where are my swans and birds, where are my bikes,

where are my crayons, i want to bite my nails again and eat

maggi, i want to kiss my cat in its forehead and pinch its

neck, i want to bath at the pond at my village and chant the

sahasranama with my old people, i want to have a nice

chat with my grandpa who always was proud of his eldest grandson,

what was left in me doesn't exist anymore, I never won or lost anything.

Raghu Chronicles: Chapter 5 - Micro Glimpses

Words and faces that enter the eyes as a flash are the ones that require a higher degree of thoughts to be pondered after. We happen to ignore them for no reason but are somehow bound with them due to reasons which we will never become aware of. When destiny starts to play with life and days become miserable, we plan to exercise our mind with thoughts of happiness and abilities. This is the point where every road has its own sets of reasons and to add more, mind chooses the one that has got a higher level of associated ascendancy . The hoard that is generates is existent for a while and when the pacification starts to fire from the internals , it goes in search of more braziers.

Vishwambharan happens to have left his house when he was 29 , he never cared about his 2 year daughter or his wife who happened to be 12 years younger than him. The entire family was proud of this action except for the two. The role played by Vishwam happened to be a vital one as this was the path that one in thousands chose. The path that had its thorns and sponges , the path of the righteous. Life was taking a turn and it was pride and glory surrounding everywhere.

Thirty years passed by, sitting beneath the Banyan tree and watching the hundreds of carcasses walking around, the mind of the sanyasi suddenly remembered its daughter. All these years of ignorance could have created a rising wave of rage inside Meena, "I need to see my little one ", he thought.

The journey that had started every third year again restarted.The past was flashing again. "How will I be able to leave my lord and go to my daughter?" I should probably speak to Gurudev; But what would he tell- "Mere thoughts of materials are what you are still living with, the scars will always be scars only if you care about them". No!, consulting the guru would still mean breach of conduct. I must live upto myself and start the journey. Afterall , she is the only one I have.

Madness Fullfilled

Days have been going faster than ever before. I felt like seeing Lagaan once again at Sree Vishakh theatre. I had lived them ordinarily, but the moments still persists like fresh in my mind. I even remember sleeping inside my mother’s stomach. I still dream every bit of them. Most people laugh at me. I see bubbles going round the bag and some red light surrounding me. I still remember those moments when Dr Sati took me onto her hands and I kept staring at her face and my mom’s lean image.

That is the way it all started. I entered the world and got the first shades of air at 9:57 AM on the 22nd of September of 1989. The lives of nine people have changed since I have entered the drama. Up there is a lot of people who are yet to become part of the drama. The velocity is increasing so is the pace of thoughts. Every mind out there is exercising every moment it lives so as to cache each part of it. Fire , Wind, Earth , Water , Ether etc , but what was the etcetera for , coz the list doesn't end Waves, Digitonics, Wrangloths, Jilachos . These have ceased to be found out. The terminologies might sound bit awkward but let me explain-

Waves - The reason for Goosebumps on our bodies. I have had experiences during hot times when self pleasing thoughts with lots of patriotism have yielded the most out of this phenomenon.

Digitonics- The cause of existence of thoughts and changing feelings towards related features that we daily witness. It is a purely mathematical model which has relations to the control over the atmosphere. Intraplanetary influence over the human body can be explained only on the basis of these interpretations which can be easily made through digitonics.

Wrangloths - Responsible for the attraction and ability to adjust with the fellow beings in the surroundings. Could be present in anything that has the capability to exist . The quest of possession of a mind is unanswerable at this juncture.

Jilachos - A chemical combination that can make a platform for a processing junction. Uses the above mentioned three features .

Finally, one doubt exists, if randomness can clearly define chaos and destiny. What role does life play in determination of unsolved mysteries?

Raghu Chronicles:Chapter 4- When Life Strikes Back

It has been years since he had addressed a huge audience . All life had made to lead was that of a spectator who tried to live comfortably. Choices and decisions were never made ;instead , actions were taken. Life was throwing glimpses of past to Raghu.

The last time he spoke to perfection was when he scolded his mom in English. It had been a passion of his to scold his ever shouting mom atleast once in this lifetime and once the words were shot in a different language, the poor lady was scene struggling to reply. The lady was cornered to such an extent that she never scolded him again.

The implication of this incident over Seethamma was of huge nature. Raghu never felt bad about it until he was cornered by a few Englishers at a distant land and by his boss for a day. It just took a few minutes to realize how life striked back. The first thing that came into his eyes were the scenes of his pregnant mom waiting in front of that English school . His sister was waiting to enter the world while his life was waiting to enter a school. Dad always wanted his son to learn at an English medium school and get applauded for the language that was thought to bring home a lot of respect. All that the son spoke was his mothertongue for the first two years and on the third year, the school was changed to a local branch of the same institution and life had changed since. He remembered his mom panting him with the words that really boosted him to cook the language at the place where he was tormented for the same.

Life had changed since those words from mom and what Raghu had returned her were those few words of ill nature. His heart was pumping with neglection when he encountered his boss today. A work that was supposed to be completed yesterday had a touch pending. The words that came out of the fat man's mouth filled his heart with rage and anger.

Moments later, Raghu entered the cabin with a letter and within a flash of a second, his hands were on his boss' collars , "Little son of a f'ot, dare to speak a word again and I am going to kick your mouth cheeks and bleed you gellies with my fist.You dare utter again. Consequences are going to be severe. If these are the kinds of words that you belly kinda p's offers, then the severity is going to be far reddish than your blood can portray , I dare ya ,little pig."

Raghu just lost his job, but he never felt a piece of sadness. All his boss had to do was throw a frightened look at the angry young man. The fat man was never cornered to such an extent . It suddenly struck him that the world was growing and his surroundings were evolving. It was no longer the same place. Meanwhile, the son of Ananthsubrahmania Iyer was walking tall with the will to start a new life. To use his past of the pasts that never nurtured his past. He was after the next phase and all that was awaiting were pieces of his childhood.

It was long since he spoke with rage and boost. There was some potential hidden in his tongue and it just got recharged. Raghu felt seeing his mom again. He did not wait, he left to his home immediately to fullfill his long awaiting wish to kiss his mom again.

THE IMMORTAL JUNCTIONS

What is the reason for my survival? To create debts and pay them off at such a moment when they are never expected to be fullfilled. Well, this happens to be the purpose for one of my pals. Recently when I watched him give a surprize phone call to one of his class mates after 7 years. His mischiefs had been making me wonder for years and it has now been 3 years since I know him. But today, we are not going to speak about his life but instead of a walk from Ramanujam Nagar bus stop to Hopes college.

Well, to start with - there are basically no main junctions other than a Cine Theatre in between and when you walk through the one kilometer at 9:00 in the night, what you see is what makes you live the night. Today was a unique day as I had the guts to see the butcher woman dressed in blue with all those flowers in her head , beat the shit outta a poor chicken . There were many hens that where waiting for the turn. My software brain started making interpretations of the randomness that was applied to processing of the fat ones. An important thing that I found out was, all the processes were consuming grains like as if they had never eaten them, even though at some moments they took a wait. Now about the processing, the processor had a random but mostly a priority based scheduler. The processes that were about to get killed performed the best. There was some sort of a connection between the butcher lady and those chickens. The chickens shouted "KWAK" "KWAK" when one of them were killed . Suddenly , I felt the necessity to continue my walk .

The next important place to watch out for is the petrol bunk .There are 4 guys dressed in black who always keep laughing at each other. The quest of what they speak about makes my brain restless. Then comes the Amma bakery and the medical shop. The medical shop guys are Hindi people and happen to throw a nice laugh when they see me. I usually buy my mouthwash from there and sometimes, the old man in the shop becomes my doctor as well. Proceeding with my walk, I happen to cross the Roja Mess. This happens to be a nice place to eat except at evenings and nights.

All those shops and stores give light to the road during the night times . The next important juncture is the wine shop. The most disciplined place in the entire space , I tell this out of sheer spectation for the past 8 months. The place has lots of respectable gentlemen who stand in a queue and all that they owe each other is a period of time for which they have to wait patiently to get the life making fuels that are used to do self rituals. Students with bag, workers, software engineers, senior citizens, bikers , dancers, people form all phases of the society happen to assemble here and there has not been a single moment during my entire stay here that this place seen empty.

Proceeding futher, the main junction of Manish Theatre . This happened to be an adult movie theatre till 2007 and since my batch, the movies here have been the new ones. I happen to see many movies like Dasavatharam . Siruthai, Yaaradi Nee Mohini etch here and this theatre is bears the record of the lowest price I paid for a ticket (Rs 10).Then comes Hari Sree bakes where I regularly eat Sambar Vada, Curd Vada and Cutlets. The photo of Guruvayoorappan and Guruvayoor Keshavan still persists in my mind. I still do not know what sort of a connection does the elephant have with these people. Here , the junction stops. The ones that follow is a long road to the hopes bridge . Rajappas , Kovai Grills, Annalakshmi Unnavakam. Well, these are the ones that go unnoticed. The most astonishing thing about the walk through the road is when we witness love, fights and laughs through out. The accidents are regular near the bar and fights are part and parcel at the Manish bus stop.

During the walks , I have witnessed many moments and this road is the one that starts my day to college and each day I walk, I see faces that are born everyday. Every face that I see is a new one and the set with which they pace their life makes me accelerate mine too. Ages to go and the same road to journey. I stop here with hopes of turning to CIT.

WHEN THE SUN STARTS TO FADE

the sun was shining as usual

suddenly, it felt nauseated.

feelings that happened had

the same form of universality

responsibilities were there

but who would undertake?

the fading posed a threat

to the humanity

when sun started to fade

it was not god who supplied

the fuel, but the sun himself

that is what you call

the fuel of self, now came the

doubt of whether there was

some form of affection between

life and death

well, the term responsibility

was flooding all over and

i kept asking asking and asking

till the jargoan occured- karma

When Frustrations are Released

Mind fluctuates over thoughts which you never wanted to be part of . People don't accept it even though they think about it a thousand times a day. Well , the way in which we are brought up is never the way we end up. An interesting experience which I had during the days of past winter still makes me a happy boy.

Watching Shawshank Redemption for the 14th time, I planned to do something new. I started to speak to all those people who were around me for 3-7 years, well most of them did not respond well in the beginning. But I kept my hopes high. So , life started taking the turn. I went through a blog which was referred to me by one of my friends. and the most amusing comment I found was that of an Old Friend.

What surprized me more was Romeo wrote all those things which I discussed with him in the bus during those 2007 days. He wrote about the chillness and lightheartedness of the girl who happened to be the part and parcel of the blog. Well, I again went and found out that all he had tried to achieve was to wind the girl's respect. Well , the girl happens to do her Humanities somewhere in Delhi and sometimes posts in the blog in the same standards and sometimes even in a more deteriorated level. Well, the way she writes gives me certain notions about the way her life is going these days.

Coming back to the new life, I happened to see that many people had grown up in the way they used to be. Many were restrictive and the ones who never spoke replied after hours of wait. A hai sometimes took 5 minutes to get hi. Sometimes, they told me about their dad , mom , sister, brother, best friends , what they like, what they do not, all I did was listen like dog and making responses positively. Then I started telling my stories which never got replies ( I dont care about it though).

Everyone on this planet is after success, it is quite a materialistic thing in their aspect. I want a car, I want to impress someone ( your parent or your friend ), I want to die a happy death ,I want to see Everest, I want to drink a tank of Champagne. Some people live with obsessions which they never expose to the outside world . I happened to be a self critic and self dominating person who never sticks to his decisions.No one taught me that First Impression was the best , but life taught me that the Last Impression was the lasting one. If someone wants to dominate you, they simply try to bully you in such a manner that you will be left bereft. But if they fought you, all they did was try to understand you. None fought me till I was 14 when I decided to fight my neighbour, something similiar happened. I played a joke that got serious and a word was thrown at me with reference to my mom which was unbearable . I couldn't just think about it. The sequence of events that happened still makes me a proud man. I got a fight which I deserved a few years back.

But the reality is , I lost it and let my opponent win (which still makes me unpredictable) . The learning process was one ot the finest one that was adopted. Risk free mind and totality in day gets to best only if you plan to sentence your thoughts , the lack of which is never going to make the winner , the real winner.

Raghu Chronicles: Chapter 3 -Selfishness

The characteristics of beauty were recently defined as Facades of the bearer. Now, thinking about shapes and curves made him happy for a while. Sometimes, the degree of turn required had to be in proportion to the satisfaction that he wanted. Eventually, upon the moment, when he felt the world on his brain, he went onto a deep sleep forgetting what had happened the whole night. Next day, he was born again. There was happiness all around, flowers, rain, chill, KTV, 90A. Genes on the stop, flowers on the road, steam from the Ram mess and everything that he wanted.

The past few days had gone well and as usual, he was expecting a turn around with which life would make him sad again. Whenever he proposed, the executor simply waived with a feel of nothingness. Refinement was the process that was taking place and all he was living was a filtered approach which lacked risk and failure. But, the amount of loneliness and stick that the mind feels during such times makes it want what is denied. Similar was the day.

There was a strict decision against Bajjis that Raghu had taken after the discovery of excess fat in his body. Since the day was so good that Raghu was sure to forget it, his mind traversed through a sequence of phases that forced the system to eat bajjis. Now, the very decision to bajjis came after a very long time of thoughts. Should I eat , Should I eat , Should I eat, Should I eat, Yes , Yes , Yes , Yes , Yes NO. Rendu Mulaka Bajji , Moonnu Vengaya Bonda, Randu Vengaya Vada, Rendu Parippu, Randu Veggu Bonda ,Moonnu Mutta, Ru Uzhundu, Randu Vazhakka, Munu Pazhabajji , totally 20 bajjis and there was no shame to pay the 80 bucks. It suddenly went through his mind – “My Roommate drinks for 150 rupees a week”. May be this is my alcohol.

Bhai was there watching Raghuram eating like hell. Seeing him eat, he had betted his gondas that it would exceed 100 bucks, but it happened that he lost it just because of a lame 20 figure. Well twenty happens to be very lesser than 750 which Bhai happened to pay. The loss had to be matched. The captain can’t keep losing and it was winning time for Bhai. The last time, India played, Bhai lost 4000 Rupees due to dada. But the spirit of dada still lives within Bhai. Well, afterall – “ONCE A FAN, ALWAYS A FAN” .Bhai’s mind was fluctuating like the old bulb at Harihar Villa. I should be back winning and I have a nice opportunity to regain my pride. I must be the charmy Bhai and not the dushkun Bhai. Bulbs glow like hell before they fuse, some even glow like sun before blowing. Bhai decided, “Raghu is going to eat for 120 bucks tomorrow”.

Tuesdays were the worst days in Raghu’s life except for this one where he got a treat of Bajjis from Charmy Bhai and all he had to do was dip it in the chutney and blow his cheeks and sleep with happiness. Bhai was a person of great achievement and anything that he does was assumed to be a token of love and all you had to return was respect . But , the friendship between Raghu and Bhai was an underground one. Nobody , other than Raghu and Bhai knew this secret Bajji deal.

The bajji evenings became a sensation inside the tea shop and the owner started getting lots of people in his shop during his Raghu hours. Bhais around the town gathered and staked Raghu. Raghu was never aware of this phenomenon . What was thought to be a bad habit was becoming a lifestyle in Raghu’s diary.

As usual, When a spoon of honey turns out to be a bottle of honey, the taste reduces. The high bidders started to loose and thought of fixing Raghu. The only guy who stuck to the best consistency was Charmy Bhai and one fine day , it was noted that Raghu had been taking bribes from Bhai. What was thought to be a match of spirit and blood had turned out to be a fixed one.

Raghu was beaten up for a reason which he still doesn’t know and the worst thing is , he was beaten up by Bhai himself which he attributes to the unpaid amount that was bujjied. Life was getting normal again and sweeping the brain for new junks.

Path towards Destiny

There is no such thing like path towards destiny that can be plotted. It is chosen by ones' life and what destiny means here is , the most important occurance in his life . It could be anything that can influence or change the life of a person or that of many. The various roles that you played was what you were destined to.

Everyone stand at a juncture where the next answer is searched for and sometimes , there is a two point junction where a turn is required. A piece of Tirukkural happened to flow through my day this evening- It said -"Every person is supposed to speak to his peers about the ideas and one who dicusses it with regulars is simply pouring nectar into drainage"

There arouse a thousand doubts and the first doubt was the principle of wiseness. What is being wise? Was this author wise? Why would he write this thing in a book ? Did he think that the entire world was the so called peer. If so , the author simply fantasized his book instead of making it happen.

People living with legacy, people who are after creating legacy, people who want nothing, people who live life instead of thinking about it, people who hide everything in the name of privacy. All are joined into a unit only through the phases of development and the end.

A piece of happiness can make a person bond a higher level of affection with his self. The characterisation of every character in the author's perspective is of sheer importance and at places where there occurs a confusion, a random turn is simply chosen which the reader is forced to follow. Now , the randomness of this decision purely relies on the ability of the reader to judge, "If this was the best of the possibilities in which the block was ruled of."

People who feel the existence of a super power at a very small age got adjusted with life praising the superiority of ultra-natural (they are never the regular ones).People who did not realize it, who fell into the history maker's category fall into the category of regulars.At , yesterday's Raghu chronicle, you might wonder "What the hell is wrong with Raghu?" . Even Raghu had thought about it a thousand times.

The same job, same hectic life, same people, same temple, same neighbourhood. There was joy, but there was no dynamism. Raghu started to get the feel that he would become a psycho if he continued the way he was living. He wanted changes and due opportunities were coming forth when the mess at the mess happened. The bells were ringing continuosly, and there was a lot of rain too. There is going to be a turning point and he is going to go to the next level but, will life decide it or Raghu (decide it).

First timers are first timers when they do it for the first time. No day is ever lived before or will be lived after. Be born everyday and be a first timer every second.

PS: No Gita or Thirukkural will ever tell you this.

Raghu Chronicles :Chapter 2- Impotence

Instability, inability, incapability, inevitablility - all these words played an important role in Raghu's life. Lack of proper reasoning was the cause of all the miseries

Raghu as usual got up, attended call from Seethamma and began his day positively. Everything went well till evening and everything happened just as if it was his day of the week. There was a surprise when he got a call from an Vivek after three years . The day was getting special as never before.

An arrear of 8000 was also credited to his account. There was an announcement of bonus too. He gave the pending mansion rent and washing rent. He had never gone to the Ram mess for quite a while and the very idea of going there. It was months back when the mess increased the rate of a Dosa to 12 from 9 and this hurted the feeling of Raghu so much that he closed his account.

With thoughts of freshness and an elevated status, he entered the mess. He was a little scared as there was a change in the way he was treated by the cashier. Seems , he had never looked into the cashier's face as Raghu's head was always bent to ground when he passed by the mess. The cashier also did not seem to recognize.

As usual , the waiter hit a glass on the table with his middle finger dipping inside the water and Raghu felt annoyed . Two dosas and a Rasa Vada, the order was made . Looking around, he felt a nostalgic feeling that he had 3 years back when he came to RK Pura. " Kumari Kumari --- Enn Nenju Vimmi Pammi -- Vaarthai Kadal ", Suryan FM was still running and many heads were knodding around. Suddenly , Raghu happened to notice the Price list, the dosa was still 12 only . There was a feeling of null running through his mind . "I was an Idiot for three years".

The Rasa vada came, it suddenly started to rain . The day was becoming more special as the Rasa Vada was steamy. A hot rasa vada during a wet rain . Then some hot dosa and some cold sambar. There was a sudden reversal of phase. The dine was completed and there was a sudden burp." BUUAaaarrgghhh" .

The waiter came forth with the bill and Raghu's mobile started to ring. It was a call from his manager. Taking the bill and going out , Ravi stopped at the beedi stall asking for a Scissor and after his cigarette , there was a sudden shock when Raghu found his waiter behind him asking for money.

"Coldest Sambar on earth and you are asking for Tips , What do you think of yourself??". There was a sudden rise in pressure of voice from Raghu and the manager too joined.After a few minutes of mouth fight, Raghu paid the bill and apologized to the waiter.

The bells were ringing at the Vinayaka Kovil and there was a feeling of deep lull and lack on confidence. Sometimes, events that make you breach the lowest levels happen at an instance when you never wanted them to play.

He got out with the question of "what next in life?" A sleeping issue had just woken up. He walked in the rain thinking of it and chanting "Hari Shree".

When the Past haunts you

Sometimes a piece of past can get you lower in state. Even though everything that was enjoyed in your present was just because of your past, that doesn't essentially mean that "All that you have become was just due to it."

Kung Fu Panda 2 was a spectacular experience. I felt like watching all of John Woo movies again. The hangover is still there. I watch the "Hard Boiled" trailer atleast twice a week. Chow Yun Fat was Woo's Aravind Swamy. The climax of KFP2 was another Dragon experience, the quest for peace and next problem that keeps life going.

When Po's master tells - "I am happy that you have found inner peace at such a young age ", it clearly showed the master's lack of inner peace. Well, that was the reason the dragon warrior was chosen as the panda. He thinks of heroism and fails and when he doesn't think about it , he simply creates legend. Well that is what life is all about . To further analyse,KFP2 is really a three version movie, The Thinkers' version, The Fun Lover's version and the Sentimentalist version, the very irony that made me compare the toothpick cop and the potbelly panda.

Death of parents at a very early age is indeed painful, but that pain was sorted out again through a set of reasons that had made the panda , the warrior . The past itself is the problem and solution . Another factor that kept me awake after the movie was the very dialogue that I heard ,"My Son is ALIVE!!, MY SON IS ALIVE".

I do not want to conclude telling that-“ I cant wait for the third part or that my BP has gone down.” But , the only way to keep the movie going was this way and the writer did take quite a bit of time to realize it. Keep your future going with the very thought that it does not make any relationship to your present. It is just a matter of hard work and conscience.

Raghu Chronicles :- Chapter 1. When the Mind searches for a Reason

He had been with very few friends in life. Most of them were imaginary ones whom he always wanted to befriend .

Sometimes at a changing phase of life , we make certain moves that are meant to be bonded with the mind forever.

Encouragement was such a factor that Raghuram thought, that would make his inside a lot happier. Raghuram was the third son Ananthasubrahmania Iyer and just like any younger member of a joint family, Raghu was treated like a kid. He was always made to do simple things. Raghu's friends mostly spoke what he wanted them to chat about. Sometimes it was movies, sometimes superstars and sometimes, life and science. They never discussed girls or miseries.

As Raghu grew up, there suddenly happened to be a day which still persists in his mind as a driving factor. The day started just as usual. The brushing, chat with Sethu and a cup of brewed coffee from Raghavan's tea cycle . Cleaning up the wastes of the drinks' party. Drawing water from the central pool of the mansion .

Finally, the day had started . A rush to the nearyby worker's mess and the 90A bus to Richardson & Co.

Devika was unusually crowded today.

"It is getting really hot these days" - Passenger 1 said

"The days have been really sweating too"- Passenger 2 supported

As usual, Raghu threw his usual smile and got two in return .

Sometimes, you just have to admit- "Man Halts but the Almighty Waives" . Raghu started getting worried as the sky got black. This time it was Manik Estates when the showers got on and he had no umbrella. "Swamiyeeeee" -- his eyes grew up. Destination was nearing and the crowd was drawing down. The minute hand was at 41 and it was the 9th hour of the day. The final stop was approaching and all he would get was about 4 minutes . Sometimes, the ship doesn't sink even when there is a hole. Similiar was the occasion. There was an umbrella lying on the bus floor and raghu suddenly bent to pick it up. When the minute hand was at 42 and it was still the 9th hour of the day, Raghu got kicked in butt by the conductor who started shouting chanting unauspicious words for trying to steal his umbrella.

The first bell just rang on the Mapla Manikkam and there was nothing other than deep anger and cheap feeling about oneself in the self's mind which had failed selection towards happiness.

As Time Passes By

The reality of life is just too hard to digest. I have had many nice experiences during the past few days, which has forced me again to start over with my doubts. There was an unusual feeling for freshness of the third of June 2011 that had nurtured my thoughts giving a total restart. To start with, the blog which taught me about the reality that was soon made unreal. A few porn related stuff which I put up in the blog during the recent days which led to some 40 odd followers was deleted and I had to cancel those x requests and the 70+ comments with all those hyperlinks , everything was erased. Decency is always bound to spread happiness and sustain the freshness of life.

Cheap publicity creates celebration among minorities but for a majority support, forwardness should always be sought after.

Death usually doesn't leave back any unanswered doubts in human life. The dead person will be rememberd atleast once a day and that makes thoughts sustain. Search for thoughts and doubt and left out things of a dead person will always give out an answer whether it be expected or unexpected.A suicide attempt of a dad that still persists in the daughter's mind kept itching me through the past night. When the daughter said it me, I found tear in her eyes. The very quest of the doubt was- "Did the late guy leave something?" . Now , it happens that the daughter had her job, husband, happiness just because of her dad but the suicide thing was the one that brought about all the changes. I did not have doubts when these thoughts started to rise. Sometimes, life just answers by itself ,which gives meaning to the new words and gives birth to a new birth each day . Be born everyday.

AFTER THE "WAR GAMES"

John Badham, the greatest visionary director of all time. "He will always make out a way for me.""The opponent is myself and it took me 22 years to realize it.!" "A computer learning algorithm that learns that nobody is ever gonna win a game ", "What a concept!"After years, I had the feeling of awe! when I saw -"War Games", (it still has its own drawbacks though), "I still keep thinking about a positive future." Masterpieces just happen twice or thrice in a lifetime and the rest of it, it is left to the intellect of the executor. The supercomputer was one such thing that keeps me laughing.Well, we happen to execute our own lives and each phase of it has a due outcome which in most games is a neutral one .Again that is often remodelled as a positive one which again brings about another quest of the ideology of success and happiness.
No one behaves "the same way" when they are at a situation of "do or die." It is because of the latter factor. Well, in my life tiem, I happen play to the first phases fearing death,after a while it just happened to get "erased off." "Once you loose the fear of it, life begins"- the quote is always there. But the fact is, "When life begins, you again start to fear DEATH :)". Continuing with the movie, well it has got no drawback at all except that the director wanted to make the child unique and have me convinced that the child already knew the logistics and other details of the systems and then the awe part, to impose a clear cut idea about "how the world would end :).""We vest all our responsibilities on the machine, "Where the hell would would life go then?" . The answer is quite complicated even tho it is a single line one- "We are the laziest part of this system and the ones who work hard, they just want to end up being what we are :) and we, we just want to become "THEM" "
Alternate egoes happen to dominate everyone's life, you see a beautiful young lady out somewhere, the very first thing "I use to think was "- "What a girl!!" , now these days, my very perspective about the notion of beauty has changed, I keep thinking-" What attribute's her beauty?" . Well it was her "back" for a while (in fact it happened for the past 8 years or so), now the very perspective is changing . "I want someone who refuses me and challenges all my thoughts telling that - "You just happened to be a stupid fellow who has achieved nothing". "But , will I find someone like it.?"
I have the answer for the last question too."Well ,it happens that nothing happens by itself unless there are factors like luck and other details involved and in the situation, the only option I have "is to churn a character and mould it in such a way that, it makes her feel that she is deprived and struggling and doesnt want to fight.""All the people in a way are ilke that for god sake!". Genuity is born out of life and the moment you start loosing it, it simply means that you have to start a new one. "What an IDEOLOGY :)".The creator of the system had everything inside "Joshua".It just restarted upon a simple quest :) and then the realization part in the form of a learning.
And finally about the systems and the genuity, " THE CREATOR ALWAYS LEAVES SOMETHING AS A LOOPHOLE WHICH YOU NEED TO PONDER OVER WITH .THE BEST JUSTIFICATION OF YOUR THOUGHTS IS WHAT YOU LIVED IN THE PAST. AND IN CASE YOU DONT REALIZE IT , MAKE A PAST WHICH CAN ATLEAST HELP YOU PACIFY THE VERY IDEA OF LIVEING THE PAST"

HARSHAD THE GHOST

You: i want a fight

Stranger: me too

You: using the f word wont make you cool

You: i want a one to one fight

You: shall we start

You: 1. 2.. 3... begin

You: who the hell are you?

Stranger: im human..... are you?

You: of course im

You: you think you are cool

Stranger: i am . are you?

You: no you are not

Stranger: you wanna bet?

You: you are the same old piece of rotten thing at omegle

You: stinking garbage

Stranger: im not :)

Stranger: thats you

You: i wonder who is gonna clean this shit up in here

You: this once used to be a place of sharing of thoughts

Stranger: i also wonder who will kick you out from here

You: no one is gonna kick me out

Stranger: i'll

You: coz no one fires the CEO

Stranger: rite.........

You: you think you are happy

You: no you are not

You: you are unhappy about ignorance

Stranger: i am

You: you find life unjustified

Stranger: haha

You: you learn books

You: you live in an ignorant environment

You: you choose lifestyles and live like them

You: rules are followed everywhere

Stranger: i wonder who are you

You: why cant i have my own rules is your thought

You: its because you are weak inside

Stranger: im not

You: you are the very old piece of shit that existed centuries back

You: using the computer wont make you cool

You: living a decent life will make you happy

You: but not a winner

You: wanna win, try to change

Stranger: that what you're doing rite now....... youre using computer

You: you are blaming me

You: that aint coo;

Stranger: im not

Stranger: thats the fact:)

You: of course not, i use it once a week

Stranger: or everyday

You: i omegled for the first time and i found the land of perverts

You: i feel sick

You: no one dares even to fight here

Stranger: but im not

You: thats why i justified you

Stranger: you sick cause you meet a perv here.... but thats ofcourse not me

Stranger: because im not the one of them

You: i wanted to fight a pervert

You: you came across

You: but ur decent man

Stranger: you are the one of them. arent you?

You: of course i am a pervert

You: why else would i fight a person like you

Stranger: you you know fight someone isnt a good idea

You: i speak to my neighbours and i am happy, i will complete my graduation next year

You: but when i look back

You: all i have is a bunch of happy memories

You: i dont have enimies

You: i wanna make some before i quit this life

Stranger: then why you have to fight someone?

You: i cant cheat anyone

You: i want to fight

Stranger: is that on your mind right now?

You: nope

Stranger: you know you have to speak your self.....

Stranger: have enimies is the worst plan ever

You: what else should i do to make my life interesting

You: ditch my gf

You: no , i cant do it

You: she is a nice giel

You: girl*

Stranger: make people happy........ and never make them hurt

You: what if everyone laughs at me

You: and when i tell i want a fight

You: they laugh again

You: 21 years of humiliation

You: i want a fight dude

You: i dont care if i loose

You: i want it

You: i want it man to man with any of my pals

Stranger: im not a man

You: they tell they cant do it because they get hurted and depressed at the very moment they hit me

You: i am sorry

You: i make mistakes too

Stranger: what mistake?

You: i just judged you to be a man

Stranger: is that ok then

You: can you give me a solution

You: for my problem

You: please

You: then you can quit

Stranger: sure

Stranger: what problem

You: all this shit i typed here is my own history

You: i want to change my present.. my past is making the graph continue the same way.. i want to take a turn in life..

Stranger: you have to learned what live for

Stranger: if you never learned then you'll never know the answer

Stranger: you know the answer is in your self

You: of course i know the answers-- but why doesnt anyone give it to me

You: u gave it tho

Stranger: because they cant read your mind

You: i feel everyone out there is loosing

You: not bcoz they dont read their mind

You: its bcoz they dont know the consequences of what they are upto

You: one of my pals gambles and he believe making money using a shortcut is gonna make him a winner

You: i cant help him

You: one of my pals

Stranger: of course you can

You: shes a girl

You: she does sex chat

You: i ask her- "You are cheating and loosing"

You: why dont you change?

You: she tells

You: "Fuck off"

You: everyone were kind and good at 13's

You: at 20's they are going down

You: i feel bad

Stranger: everyone always kind. just the way they learned was in wrong way

You: hmmmm

You: another friend of mine thinks he is cool and goes to strippers

You: i doubt what is cool in it

You: can you justify

You: i cant help him too

You: i am loosing

You: :(

You: i know the problems

You: but i cant find a solution

You: i dont know what is going wron

You: is it coz grown ups are perverts and not worth talking to

Stranger: everything in this big world can go wrong.

You: i type at enormous speed

You: i am sorry-- " I did not even ask if you are good at English"

Stranger: im not really good. but i got what you mean

You: European?

Stranger: no

Stranger: are you?

You: nope

You: what is your nationality?

Stranger: you guess

You: China?

Stranger: no

Stranger: but in asia

You: I quit

You: You tell

Stranger: haha ok, indonesian. and you?

You: u guess?

Stranger: canada?

You: I am an Asian too

You: but I do not live in Asia

Stranger: i quit.....

Stranger: you tell

You: I am English - living at US

You: half Persian

Stranger: ok..... and your age?

You: 21

You: u??

Stranger: wow. still 18

You: cool

You: you are younger

You: I have been to jakarta once

Stranger: and you're older

Stranger: haha

Stranger: you have?

Stranger: when?

You: when I was 8 years

You: :)

Stranger: you lived here?

You: No , my uncle was an Indian, he had a hotel there

Stranger: cool

You: He sold it due to some problems

You: now he is in US too

You: what is your name

Stranger: you tell me yours first

You: Harshad

Stranger: and i am vita

You: cool

You: so can we quit?

You: or you got anything to tell

You: thank you for relieving me

Stranger: its ok

You: may god bless you

Stranger: you too

Stranger: and thanks for the fight i think :)

You: why? will it help you?

Stranger: no, i just dont know. it made me laugh you know someone have fought with someone that she or he doesnt even know.

You: you are gonna have a similar experience at some part of your life too kid

You: do you think everyone out there is happy as they appear

You: i actually have planted a very thought in your mind

You: its gonna change you foreverr

You: i dare you

You: you will never know what it is

You: its night 12

You: and this is a ghost in your computer

You: booooo

Stranger: are u sure you're a gosht?

You: Yezzz

Stranger: so you have name

You: a blood thirsty one

Stranger: thats cool

You: I am harshad who died near your house 120 years back

Stranger: u know you make me scared now

You: haha, why are you getting scared?

You: i am not gonna hurt you

You: i am blood thirsty only to my enimies

You: not to the ones who speak good to me

Stranger: :(

You: wait 2 mins

Stranger: for what?

You: I am thirsty

You: let me drink some water

You: Okay

You: my job is to tell my history and the people who ignore me

You: i will scare them

You: to the ones who are good to me

You: I bless them

You: their life will be the most happiest ones to live

You: the best one

Stranger: am i good?

You: I already blessed you

Stranger: then thanks

You: sleep well, if something is frightening you -- frankly tell it to me

You: may be i can fix it for you

You: anyone troubling you??

You: I wont come back to you anymore

You: i will keep watching from behind (to make sure everything is going well)

Stranger: no, i have the best people in my life

You: good , if you ever feel something is going wrong, dont suicide like me

Stranger: i wont

You: your ancestors and neighbors are always with you

You: ghosts like me are with you

Stranger: now you scared me again..........

Stranger: you have to know it

Stranger: :(

You: take me for a friendly ghost now

You: will you

Stranger: yaaa

You: one last thing-- "Here is one thing i need to share-- I heard one of my friends telling -- within 25 years, Indonesia and Japan going to vanish from Earth"

You: I want you to leave the country before that with the people you need

Stranger: where did you know that?

You: that is my advice -- take it if you want to--

You: i cant give you my sources

You: I will be punished for sharing this much with you

You: but i dont wanna see you die

Stranger: you're good :)O

You: Hey , I gotta find my next opponent

You: BYE and LEAVE THE COUNTRY IN 25 YEARS

Stranger: bye

Stranger: and thanks

You have disconnected.