Broken Times

Hugging his pillow,

with thoughts that refused to happen,

with a freaking feeling that his life making turns,

he closed his eyes paying attention to the firefly that stilled,

sometimes , he never had to live moments that made him feel that he lived it,

another ordinary day just passed away, "have i been of use to anyone who survived this day",

the fat boy with a mole on his right cheek and joint eyebrows and a beautiful nose thought consciously,

years ,days,months, weeks ,centuries, seconds, moments ,lives ,changes,all were happening secretly.

"I was like a Robot , brainwashed in the name of God"

Ajmal Kasabs comments for the day does not bring about any feelings inside me infact , I do not feel anything. The day just passed as if nature and surroundings were commanding me and telling- "You are nothing, its us who decide what the future is and what your life is gonna be?".No person turned to be the one that he wanted to be , but I !. I never wanted to be anything in life but today I am something. The point is , "Nothing is under my control when I am in dire wanting and everything is under my control when I need nothing" . The testing exam passed off while , the battle for SPM has begun . The decision I choose is - "Stay and complete the thaniyavarthana and make the concert worth an aattakkalaasham".Yeah babe, pappas gonna change some rules - "Naan aadi thakathuttu daan , bhajana paaduven".

Finally, my tributes to Jagjit Singh who passed away tonight at the age of 70. Maestro, May your soul rest in peace.

Raghu Chronicles: Chapter 9: -Spoilers of the Strangest Moments

The phone was ringing as Gomathy Ammal shouted - " Sadhaa , Phone edu" . It was an unusual voice - "Amma" , the old man moaned. "What wrong did I do that you ignore me for 30 years?". It is my 55th birthday and I haven't seen you for so long. Are you atleast aware of a son? "Vishwam !". The old lady moaned. "

"Naan enna amma seiven ?" "Am I responsible? You supported dad always and today I stand at a point where I feel my life spoiled" . "Even after wishing to see you , I had to deprive myself out of it"."Swaah.." , the old lady could not speak , she was 85 and there was no day when she never thought of her only son and today when the call came, she could not utter a word. Unable to bare the shame that she just witnessed as there was Sadhaa waiting beside the old lady. All these years of pain and agony, the justification was lacking somewhere .

Sadhaa took the receiver and said- "Wrong Number".

Udumalpet Day

For the first time ,I felt

being part of a well written climax .

The evening clouds made

them more memorable.

But I still wonder,

"Why doesn't anyone cry ?"

Raghu Chronicles- Chapter 8 :- The Restoration

Naanu was passing by Poonthi as usual and there was a moment of smile seeing Raghu. Yes, Pooman had decided to take up the family profession of accountancy under Permal. Mani accompanied his younger brother. There was a murmur about Mani and Vandana on the last seat , the one that the old men always occupied.

Their latest news was the death of Vandana and return of Vishwam. As the bus started to fly , Raghu's mind was filling with the city moments , his old office by Richardson & Co, the 90 A bus. "There was no point in my city life. I always wanted to be with my people and my place. Ram mess and room mate was the only thing that really made me feel good. I do not feel bad anymore .""Nammulle Hero , Kandeduppon Naan Nammule Hero"- Mrudulaya was running at a high pitch. The usual thoughts flew as Naanu shouted- "Gaandhaari Amman Kovil , Perumal Accountants and Associates".

With thoughts of eagerness and proudy , Raghu kept forth his right leg from the 32 seater and the bell started to ring at Gandhari Amman Kovil. He felt the glory of Amman shining before his thy eyes. Making strodes towards the office, he prayed- "This time, this place , atleast once please". With the letter from his father signed and a hope of success, Raghu sat at the Cubicle within which his future boss was attending a call . "The deliveries will be soon made, Rishi is making more mistakes and I will soon have him fired. " The pune took the letter and gave it to old Perumal who laughed seeing it and called Raghu inside.

"The son of Ananthasubrahmania Iyer at my office, seems we still have stories to speak . Sit down Raghurama, How is Subbu? Been so long since I met him. Giri, get tea for the young man. I have been thinking of calling Subbu for a job. By the way , how is Seeta and Mani. Tell Mani that I am not angry and he can join back anytime. You had one more brother , didn't you ? "- Perumal said.

"Venkateshwaran , the middle one " - replied Raghu. "Yes , little Venki. What does he do these days?" .

"Mani and Venki are running a chain of stationary shops and some food supplies to the city malls , products like appam , ellurunda , dosa podi etc. " - Raghu spoke . "Does your father still dream of becoming a nalan and priest? "

"When the two words come up , Amma starts to fight and we begin to laugh. None of us have an idea about how dad gets to such thoughts" . "Haha , subbu was always a man of passion. Why dont you start today itself Raghu? . " - Perumal requested.

Temptations that refuse to Persist

I could have been a good fellow

I could have been a bad fellow

I could have lived it until

Someone won everything

I stand before you, my fellows

With thoughts of ego and inability

Refuting my rage over everything,

Bearing the herns that were churned,

finally the same doubt is born again

Did I win or loose?

Raghu Chronicles - Chapter 7:-New Extremes

Standing on the edge of the cliff,Chand thought of money and war.The game that he played with words of ethics and respect happened to be lost among his fellows. The lack of a good lead was not the case.Competition started to rule and gamesmanship started to vanish. Moment when the camaraderie seemed dramatic. Reality seemed to have lost its inside and from within was coming out mere acts of mockery and sham.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he captured those scenes that played the most vital important parts of his 79 year old life. First kiss from Pavitra , sealing the tooth on her hand for the chocolate. Days of hardsmanship at the underage jail, death of mom, birth of Sethu and the one that changed all , Vandana. "God bless my little one "- the gunlord thought.

He saw the valley beneath his legs, he felt the breeze, he felt the long chirping of birds, the rapture that nature brought into his mind and the final moment of success , the end of them all. After an hour, the gunlord started to climb down the cliff. Suddenly , a long bearded sage appeared before his eyes. The eyes were bright and an age of around 50 or so .

Seeing those powerful posture and gests, there was a feel of fear inside Sreedhar. The eyes of the old man did not take much time open. "How are you Sreedhar bhai"- asked the old man. The face was quite familiar, but it had become 30 or so since I have seen these eyes. Thoughts started to traverse, "I have seen this face during my early days, Vishwambharan ,yes Sanyasi Vishwambharan , Meena's Husband ."

"Vishwam," asked Sreedhar Chand. "Aam " - the reply came . "Meena died two years after you left and Vandana is under my care . You can meet her anytime you want but , she does not know that you are her father by blood . It is upto you to decide. Anytime you can come to my house ." ."Aam"- The sound came out again out of the tapasi. "Vandana is not willing to marry anyone and I do not know what to tell, The change that she brought in my life was more than anything else to me. The death of Sethu and the sorrows that followed. She was the reliever every time. I hope she finds a partner too. Sethu still lives through her and she finds her love at my house. "

As hours passed by, the gunlord left and there was silence all around. The house on valley where the old man and his daughter lived was clearly visible from the mid portion and the sanyasi kept staring at it for 2 continuous weeks and finally made up his mind to find a reason which would perfectly enable him to see his daughter by her face. Walking by the cliff , the two years which his eyes witnessed his daughter came in front of the old man . There was silence all around and flying papers in front of his eyes and the old man walked to the house to see his daughter, his only one who lived.

Moments later - " Aaaaah " -came out a roaring voice. " It was my fault always. I could have saved my daughter. I could have had family . I could have saved Meena. It was always my fault. Half a kilometer , that was the distance and I could not even hear her voice. What wrong did I do? Obeying my dad or living upto my family. The decisions I took has seen the dooming of all the members . I should not think of all these at this moment. Maybe I have something else to fullfill. "

Walking beside the pukka road to Durga , revenge was the mantra that rang in Vishwam's mind .The next day newspaper read - "Sreedhar Chand and Daughter found dead at Valley House".