The language of my Thoughts

I write this blog thinking of what language do I need to use to think.

I know 6 languages now , the 6th one is barely known to me in the form of thoughts as I never tried to think in Kannada, it was more of Sanskrit. Sometimes, there are moments when we think :

Is this the life that I am supposed to live.

Maybe this blog might not be read by anyone else other than me, so let me start opening the book again.

Attached below are the normal queries which you will want to find answers for:

1. Will you ever be in a relationship : No maybe Yes
2. Even when people around you are in 30s and 40s and you would want a hand of friendship : I would explore my surrounding. If I fail, I might run away.
3. Is Bangalore your city to live : I dont know
4. Do I belong to this place where I am bloggin from: I again dont know


I dont find energy around me so I have to generate it from inside. I need family, I need friends, I wanna go back .

It is good when nothing is expected.


aah , i need energy !!! where are my boots.

When the unexpected becomes unavoidable

Life is mystery even for the ones living it with a plan.

This is the chapter where the sword sharpened to fight battles turns out to be used for cutting veggies.

This is the time when you bleed a drop of tear for your uncle who fought his entire living-hood for one sake , MOTHER

This is the occasion when a family thinks , why like this at this crucial moment.

Appa decided to take up the promotion exam as he wanted to get a higher pension and wanted to retire as an OFFICER.

I decided to buy a house because I wanted to take some burden something worth living for .

Now comes the turning point of them all. My father is moving to Bangalore .

I am not sure what tomorrow is , but am sure that my mother needs to come here or else, he needs to go there atleast twice a month.

2.7 years, I am counting down from this day so that my appa and amma are back together.

Times that make us feel, there are things like destiny and karma exist.

An Introverts sense of the world

Introverts stand up only when none stand up. The world is just a place where a cycle of events take place, which humans try to understand via logical reasoning. 

As per thoughts, every birth has a purpose. The prime one being ,carving out the next generation. The system happens to be the playground where no rules are defined and everyone lives without the justification of every second or moment. Things just happen and you are supposed to by pass the moments as if you were part of the drama too. 

Dealing with such incidents, I lived a day where I found a self which could add to any event which lead the completion of a so called day. You wanna laugh, you cry , you wanna cheer, you boo. You are numb, then you find yourself cracking jokes. 

Sometimes, you are idle thinking of what next , without a clue of what the next thing is going to be. Living the same day matters to many people as they are used to it. 

Hope things change as big turns in roads are taken. I have been to nations where people were seen rejoicing the inner being , I wanna be like them , but never am I gonna end like them.

Mind is a strange thing , it is neither chemical nor impotential , there is something which can make this work and something which can make it punctured. Life never responds to what the mind eves to .  

77.8 percent of people speak about movies in 65% of their conversations.30 %, they spend on speaking about girls and. The current generation characterizes these are normal beings. Well, what do they do in the 5 % will be the question. Right? Well, they speak about TV series and youtube vids. 

10 percent speak about politics ,science and fiction. 

5 percent speak about religion. 

The rest live 7.2 their lives to see it becoming the celluloid . 

Another ability , I am not sure if I got via by atts is the ability to see if a person is waiving a good bye. They see it months before the hand lifts itself to waive. Time is also something which is calculated if you have the ability to track. 

There is an internal clock ticking which I can sense , the quartz is still there in the body and it makes that clocking noise . Aah , I got decades to live. Stories to tell, moments to cherish, generation to churn , 

Hope it turns out what life wanted to end up being. 

When the search for Optimism ends

As I write this blog on the Midnight where the new year awaits me in 40 minutes, all I tend to do is blog at the moment.

The day started with a dream to see the video of Ramta Jogi (the song I am currrently listening to) .

All sites worked fine except Ramta Jogi on the Morning of this Tuesday , the 31st Dec of 2013 .

Suddently , a call from Appa .

The lion has stopped roaring. It found the zoo to be very bad and was keen on returning to the Den. But , life was too late to make it to the tiem.

Off the 14 odd hours of this day , I spent 6 hours in front of the dead body of periyappa.

Life sometimes makes the day the most unexpected affair of the year.

2013 was the year , I searched for optimism , the time when I searched for my innate self for the definition of what it needed to be .

The gate is opening. End of blog.

Hope the next year fares well too :)

When you are unable to accept the truth - An MP Analysis

1.       This happens when the first person tries to match the reality which are going at a pace than what he can accelerate upto.

Who said this is it? You can go at a higher pace than this . This is just the start of the journey. The major parts if covered now will give scope for making up scenes you never expected to face.

2.       When the amount of cheering exceeds expectations.

-na-

3.       Sometimes you will reach junctures when the road to be taken is mis-matching against the thoughts. We know it is good to go through but there is a sense of danger.

The other road has only dangers.  Think of the girl who married at 22 , isn’t she living good. Don’t you feel the sense for need of a partner? “Wait and live”- is all that I got to tell.

4.       Mind has higher ambitions even though you know you are living a good life.

This is absolutely normal. There is nothing to worry about. All you did was learn and take up decision that would delude you from presumptions where life would take you into.

5.       Lack of perfections in thoughts.

What is perfection? You got nothing more to tell us right?

6.       Persistence of numb feeling.

Shut up and drive

7.       Feel of becoming betrayed and preyed.

Shame ,Shame puppy shame !!

8.       When you feel you are becoming your own villain.

It is not a no , but not an yes too . Everybody gets to see their own villain and heroes over course of time. Control your tongue is all I got to tell you.

9.       Lack of vision about future.

Life at its best. Live upto it fully. Long visions are good , have them in target , don’t think about tomorrow or next year , live for what you are going to be 20 years from now.

10.   Aint it too early for all these.

Baah , retirement plans, I gonna work till the day I die and you feel this is early. 

The SAW

This is something that I have always wanted to write about. There are variety of characters that I have met up in these 24 years of life. As I am about to complete quarter of my life in this world, I found a strange me within my self. 

There is someone who likes to be damn arrogant who is trying to setup strange examples among innocent beings and in the meantime acting to be nice from outside . I sometimes think , it is the real me. 

I had a call with Tejas , a new customer , as the call proceeded, I could feel the pressure building, for a moment, I felt, I was spoon feeding someone who refused to read the document.

The tone changed. It was a tough tone , a damn tough tone, I rarely address customer as 'Man', BUT this time, I decided, it is gonna be Tejas and Man. 

As the meeting proceeded and I fixed issue by issue, the questions started to flow tremendously, of course he was trying to grasp everything from me . All of a sudden , I checked the time, it was 7:12. Exactly 72 minutes gone by, THIS is all I had to tell before closing the call:

I am having a meeting in 3 mins and I gotta end this webex. I am marking this case for closure and if you get any new ones, please raise a new case and will take it from there. There was surprize, he said , you gotta wait till I confirm, I asked, why wait when the issue is resolved. 

There was a pause , I said - LET me know if you got any concerns. There was a shift of tone, it said - YES. 

Sometimes, the question of character comes to play with the act of professionalism. People might write this and that on the former, but this experience that I am gaining is what is gonna turn about the situation. 

Tough times with tough people, it simple makes you tougher. Sometimes, it might lead to a complete downfall. Whatsover the case might be, be sure that nothing is gonna change that attitude which is stuck and make sure , you are not digging your grave anymore.

The saw always digs for the other, not for itself.  

Half Century

I happen to do things that normal people take up 10 years from now. I am writing this article after fixing 6 customer issues on 6 different webex calls.

Kind of stressed but what to do :(.. Life is like that . Maibe I have to take vacation was the thought, but it is already booked 2 weeks later.

Happiness in one way. Stress in another. Atleast , I am the only self dependent is the thought . Let us see where life leads me to .