Here is what I want - Elope to a world where I need to do loads of cleansing and polishing

I want anonymity , the freedom to walk everywhere without being noticed.

I want to be special in front of at the max 5 people in my whole lief tiem.

Why do I blog if I want anonymity?

It is because I need to open and realize the flow of my thoughts at some point. Internet is the safest place to do it. I tell it to someone who in-turn be part of my life, then I can be taken advantage of.

Even if I am taken advantage of, I would prefer it is done by someone whom I am going to live my whole life with . Someone who is within my reach , someone who knows me and I know of.

Are you possessive?

I don't know, I have never got a comment like that around my circles. Possessiveness is good , given that you are willing to share and change the needy. I would never have realized that without my sister.

How often do you prefer seeing new people ?

I don't mind seeing new people, but I do prefer meeting few new people. My past is going to live with me regardless of whom I am with and what my surroundings are.

What if your past changes and turns out to be something that you never imagined it was and the realization comes that the story was written from a fully different perspective ?

I would accept the reality and move on. My perspective is what I see. Your perspective is what you see. If there is someone who can change my vision, it is going to be someone who has seen me in years, who has known be for the person I am and thinking about me at least once a week.

Why do some people prefer to stay away and act affectionate and don't do anything useful when the time comes ?

I don't know, sometimes we never change and it is very difficult for us to accept the fact that someone we saw in a manner is no longer the same. Sometimes we pacify ourselves stating that it is just an act, a play that is going on and be a character that you are not and join the gang, sometimes we just are ourselves and found annoying to live on with what is happening (at-least in front of others).

Over years, how much have you changed, where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I am a person who wants to live for 100 years, so I would answer to where do you wanna see yourself in 100 years, I would prefer to live the last years of my life at my hometown where I belong. I would wanna see my next 3 generations blossom and be around me at least for 2 weeks every year.

How long are you going to  be part of the software industry ?

I became part of the software industry at the age of 9 when I wrote my first QBASIC code. I still remember the UI and most of it. I was always good at debugging, probably the reason I chose a destructive job.

Today was one of those days when I saw a completely pessimistic presentation of a person who was totally destructive minded like me. To the question of where you would want to see yourself in 10 years, I would like to take his seat in 10 years, that would be my answer .

To the question of how long in the software industry , I am gonna be there as long as programs as executed as stacks.

What are you going to do when the programs are no longer stackular ?

I am going to the college labs again to figure out what is the new bottle they drink and taste it . I will also figure out how to transform the new DS to a stack so that I am not lost in balance.

The language of my Thoughts

I write this blog thinking of what language do I need to use to think.

I know 6 languages now , the 6th one is barely known to me in the form of thoughts as I never tried to think in Kannada, it was more of Sanskrit. Sometimes, there are moments when we think :

Is this the life that I am supposed to live.

Maybe this blog might not be read by anyone else other than me, so let me start opening the book again.

Attached below are the normal queries which you will want to find answers for:

1. Will you ever be in a relationship : No maybe Yes
2. Even when people around you are in 30s and 40s and you would want a hand of friendship : I would explore my surrounding. If I fail, I might run away.
3. Is Bangalore your city to live : I dont know
4. Do I belong to this place where I am bloggin from: I again dont know


I dont find energy around me so I have to generate it from inside. I need family, I need friends, I wanna go back .

It is good when nothing is expected.


aah , i need energy !!! where are my boots.

When the unexpected becomes unavoidable

Life is mystery even for the ones living it with a plan.

This is the chapter where the sword sharpened to fight battles turns out to be used for cutting veggies.

This is the time when you bleed a drop of tear for your uncle who fought his entire living-hood for one sake , MOTHER

This is the occasion when a family thinks , why like this at this crucial moment.

Appa decided to take up the promotion exam as he wanted to get a higher pension and wanted to retire as an OFFICER.

I decided to buy a house because I wanted to take some burden something worth living for .

Now comes the turning point of them all. My father is moving to Bangalore .

I am not sure what tomorrow is , but am sure that my mother needs to come here or else, he needs to go there atleast twice a month.

2.7 years, I am counting down from this day so that my appa and amma are back together.

Times that make us feel, there are things like destiny and karma exist.

An Introverts sense of the world

Introverts stand up only when none stand up. The world is just a place where a cycle of events take place, which humans try to understand via logical reasoning. 

As per thoughts, every birth has a purpose. The prime one being ,carving out the next generation. The system happens to be the playground where no rules are defined and everyone lives without the justification of every second or moment. Things just happen and you are supposed to by pass the moments as if you were part of the drama too. 

Dealing with such incidents, I lived a day where I found a self which could add to any event which lead the completion of a so called day. You wanna laugh, you cry , you wanna cheer, you boo. You are numb, then you find yourself cracking jokes. 

Sometimes, you are idle thinking of what next , without a clue of what the next thing is going to be. Living the same day matters to many people as they are used to it. 

Hope things change as big turns in roads are taken. I have been to nations where people were seen rejoicing the inner being , I wanna be like them , but never am I gonna end like them.

Mind is a strange thing , it is neither chemical nor impotential , there is something which can make this work and something which can make it punctured. Life never responds to what the mind eves to .  

77.8 percent of people speak about movies in 65% of their conversations.30 %, they spend on speaking about girls and. The current generation characterizes these are normal beings. Well, what do they do in the 5 % will be the question. Right? Well, they speak about TV series and youtube vids. 

10 percent speak about politics ,science and fiction. 

5 percent speak about religion. 

The rest live 7.2 their lives to see it becoming the celluloid . 

Another ability , I am not sure if I got via by atts is the ability to see if a person is waiving a good bye. They see it months before the hand lifts itself to waive. Time is also something which is calculated if you have the ability to track. 

There is an internal clock ticking which I can sense , the quartz is still there in the body and it makes that clocking noise . Aah , I got decades to live. Stories to tell, moments to cherish, generation to churn , 

Hope it turns out what life wanted to end up being.